Colon, when/how are you testing, fellas (and women)?

#1

Anybody used that Cologuard?

I’ll be cuarenta y cinco this year,

#2

I thought this was a thread about punctuation. I’m ready for the test.

#3

i’m a semi guy myself; huge benefits.

#4

Went in for my first colonoscopy this year.

  1. If you are prepping, there is no such thing as a fart

  2. The nurse said to me “The good thing is, if everything is clear three times every ten years you don’t need to have another one ever”. I asked the guy “That would be the last one at 75. How long do you anticipate I’m going to live?”

  3. While on my side with my caboose exposed for what seemed like forever as I waited for the anesthesiologist to work her magic they asked me my name, birthdate, etc. to make sure I was the right person. Then they asked “Are you here for a colonoscopy today?” to which I replied “I got news for you. If you’re planning on taking out my wisdom teeth you’re taking the scenic route”

#5

I had a colonoscopy last fall, right around my 50. birthday. I was surprised how hard it was to fast for a day and a half. I constantly had intrusive thoughts about going to the grocery store to buy more food and about what I might make myself to eat. My brain was very upset that I wasn’t eating. It was much worse than the prep or the actual procedure.

The other weird thing was the anesthesia. They gave me fentanyl for some reason, and I basically don’t remember the rest of the day at all. My wife took me home, gave me some food, etc. And I really only remember the next morning. I don’t have any tolerance for pain medication or anesthesia at all.

Not as interesting as Willie’s story, but then nothing ever is.

#6

It is crazy how anesthetic drugs affect different people. I generally need more than they think to knock me out. There have been a lot of times I did the countdown “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0, -1, -2, -3 etc.” but I have never lost a whole day afterwards.

My wife has a connective tissue disorder which somehow affects how certain drugs metabolize. We had an occasion where we were both worked on by the same surgeon and he said it took me about twice what it takes an average person of my size, and it took her about five times what they gave me. For reference, I am 6’5" and about 300 pounds and she’s 5’2" and svelte.

#7

I had a kidney stone a few years ago that they tried, and failed, three times to get to. And so, they put me under three times in the span of four weeks. It took months for my brain to get back to normal after that. They also gave me oxycontin for the pain, and, my god, that shit feels good. No pain of any kind. But then after I had taken it for three days, it was already hard to stop. I was a little shaky the first day off, and that was scary as hell. Anyway, I’m a lightweight. The first time I go out with a junkie, it’ll be a cheap date.

#8
#9

It takes two when it used to take one.

#10
#11

A tip for drinking that g-dawful prep drink—use a straw- you can drink it faster and also you’ll miss a lot of your taste buds. Made a huge difference in getting it down

#12

Appreciate the insights. I think I’d do OK w/fasting, but I haven’t had serious anesthesia since I had my wisdom teeth pulled. It makes me uncomfortable to think about being drugged. Great to see Wilhelm in here.

Don’t be shy, polyp a chair and share your experience.

#13

My friend and neighbor shared birthdays within a few days. We both had a colonoscopy appointment around the time of our 50th birthdays. He was diagnosed with colon cancer a week before his appointment… he died a year later after going through some of the roughest of times.

On the other hand my brother-in-law had polyps detected early with his colonoscopy and they were found to be cancerous. He had surgery to have them removed. That was about 15 years ago and he is living his best life now.

It is good to just get it done. Any kind of early detection can save lives.

#14

I think the worst of it is waking up and having someone come in and show you all the pictures they took along the journey. Weird shady pinkish tunnel where they point out good/bad types of things. Actually, they really only point out bad. I didn’t need that level of insight. Just find/fix.

#15

I have not had a colonoscopy before but I had my first prostate finger bang today. Well, the first one I’ve had to pay for, at least.

#16

would you do okay w/ fisting?

#17

OK, I scheduled one for March (colonoscopy, not fisting).

I saw you can get a sedation-free colonoscopy and the benefits are you don’t deal with the after effects of propofol, etc. I don’t think I’d be good with sedation free. I generally am fine at a dentist, but I’m wary of being awake during this procedure.

#18

The weird thing is that they have to puff air inside to expand it and see what is going on. That is a wildly uncomfortable feeling.

#19

*shudders

#20

You did it cold, no propofol? Did you stare down the Gastro?