Drivel Thread 1.0


~Quotes From The New Dot-Org~

“i’m so sad that i have yet to be mentioned in kat’s new dot org quotes. i can’t handle the pain. first don leaves and now kat is dissing me. heaven, i need a hug.” -Brandy

“omgz! that looks like a setlist that even pagethesage could love.” -Brandy

“i was going to invite you to use my extra wilco ticket, but now i’m giving it to a hobo. that’s right. a hobo.” -Brandy

“don’t listen to tom. he saw the black eyed peas.” -Brandy

“i’m a temp, so it’s all good. i’ll forget all about these dumb beavers tomorrow and go back to not dealing with customer service. i hate customer service. i was not built to be kind to people.” -Brandy

“i have kiwi-strawberry vitamin water. it’s endorsed by kelly clarkson, so it has to be good, right? right?” -Brandy

“i’ve been to that place, gavo. there is nothing gourmet about their pizzas. i think it’s called that because the roaches wore bow-ties.” -Brandy

“omgz! is copyrighted. you owe me one billion dollars.” -Brandy

“omgz! i love you so hard. your whole family is like a swirling gene pool of awesome. for serious. i bet your dna dances in the pale moonlight and bathes in grape frost gatorade.” -Brandy

“this is the internet. we’re all losers. some of us more than others, but we’re still residing in the same zip code.” -Brandy

“I still use the ‘i’m too young for a relationship’ thing and i’m twenty-seven. you’ve got to let her spread her wings and prepare to fly. you know who told me this? mariah carey. apparently she will turn into a butterfly, and then decide if she wants to come back to you or not. don’t make me post the video.” -Brandy

“i’m sweeter than candy, you dumb bitch.” -Brandy

“tim used quotation marks, a comma and an exclamation point? holy shit.” -Brandy

“my mom was power walking yesterday. she had justin timberlake all fired up on the ipod, and i came driving by like, omgz! who is this fool stepping so high and lively? it was my mom.” -Brandy

“my mom told me she was emo the other day. she is doing her best to kill the trend.” -Brandy

“you are so not scene. you are where trends go to die. go play with your furby.” -Brandy (to sean)

“kat, i want to caress you with a bar of caress.” -Brandy

“did i mention that he can also draw like whoa? he used to do all my art assignments for school, but he did them so well that they put me in a gifted class. my mom didn’t want to tell the school, so i’m classified as gifted for no real reason.” -Brandy

“come on. french it up.” -Brandy

“omgz! kat activated the doogie function. ahsjhaskjdhashjakjahahahahaha.” -Brandy

“i mentioned something about my therapist and stabbing her.” -Brandy

“i’m out of money. i will now have to exhange sexual favors for oxen. i hate when life imitates art.” -Brandy (playing Oregon Trail)

“i love that kat said turd. <3 she’s my most beloved member now.” -Brandy

“who needs a job? i was fired from kroger when i was sixteen. they only paid me $4.15 an hour, so i was like, peace out, bitch.” -Brandy

“noonan sucks. he’s a tiny dancer.” -Brandy

“boring? it is so not boring. how can a man who disrobes in a strangers kitchen be boring?” -Brandy

“my mom got my grandma one of those jogging suits for christmas. she didn’t notice that it says “hottie” right across the ass. good times.” -Brandy

“i don’t need any help in the dance moves department. i could totally take kevin federline in a dance off.” -Brandy

“i want to work with kat. i used to try to break dance on the plastic mat that allowed my desk chair to roll. i bet kathy would appreciate my moves.” -Brandy

“kat, you just got a handheld ‘massager’ for christmas. you are officially on my side of the fence now. great success.” -Brandy

“my dad sewed the pants on all my new kids dolls, so that i could never see them naked.” -Brandy

“my nephew asked for a rolling backpack from santa. is it wrong that i laughed at him? in his face? and called him gay? i was like, you’re going to school, not the airport.” -Brandy

“ryan just told me he won’t even buy carrots, because they’re his least favorite vegetable. good luck getting any shows now, new yorkers.” -Brandy

“gambling and ryan adams? i can bring my grandma.” -Brandy

“he doesn’t like brandy so she bans him. roflolz.” -christie

“i don’t see your name in the subject line anyway so your clickery of this thread is wack.” -christie

“you’re out of the loop because you live in crumpetland.” -christie (to badgerwolf)

“ernie is allowed to wear sweatpants.” -christie

“your acne scars don’t show very well… i guess the glare from your shiny face is to blame…” -christie

“it’s settled then. i’m annoying and you’re ugly. i’m fine with annoying.” -christie


“Bonochick, I’ve always coveted a quotes spot on your profile.” -kanabro

“It’s like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer trashes it up and they just load everyone up and move them a few miles down the highway.” -WSYO

“this is the 3th board now where the community settles. I like that. cyber gypies.” -Lies, Lies & more Lies

“you know what this reminds me of? that scene in ‘Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back’ when Jay and Silent Bob go around the country sucker punching every person that ever said anything bad about them on the internet.” -kb

“I can paraphrase all of Ryan’s old posts…‘You’re all a bunch of children. I’m high. I like ninjas. My upcoming gig at _______ has been canceled.’” -voice of reason

“I always wanted to be on Elimidate. But now it’s cancelled and I’m screwed.” -Shudduphunnie

“Doogie gets to stay?!?!?!?!? Don’t fuck it up dipshit!” -voice of reason

“Doogie, God is gonna punish you. all that dirty talk. (do you do confession?) kidding. seriously.” -stumbling

“(btw, be nice to Doogie or…he once did mention…oh never mind. I don’t steal boys usually.)” -stumbling

“well I don’t enjoy your posts much either. I’ve always found your posts and vibe pretty weird and somehow almost skanky. not that anything you SAY is skanky. just you (cyberly) smell skanky.” -stumbling (to onelousypetunia)

“well my old bag friend got married…recently…and to a (young) hottie! so anything’s possible! no, I’m just kidding. she used to be gooorgeous. but ya know…gettin on like me, now.” -stumbling

“you didn’t expect me to answer with a simple answer did you?!!!” -stumbling

“man! just went to art gallery or what do you call it. museum?” -stumbling

“I do have a job! bitch.” -stumbling

“poverty works to keep your weight down…har har har.” -stumbling

“I’ve had to eat my (metaphorical) hat recently quite a few times!!” -stumbling

“Ryan odd? you gotta be kidding! I never noticed. har har har. people used to call my family ‘Van Weirdos’ so…” -stumbling

“Ernie is dumb!” -stumbling

“I believe in my heart that BC and I are NOT swirlieworthy.” -AmyG

“runaway d is Ryan’s bizarro Jesse.” -AmyG

“Ryan used to remind me of my son. But then my son grew up.” -AmyG

“NYC is a great fun place to live…unless you’re Keef.” -AmyG

“The people who bitch the most are usually the people who do the least to change things.” -AmyG

“That’s the anniversary of Jerry Garcia’s death. You remember him, Ispy. The fat hippie guy.” -AmyG

“For ages 9-12. Should be perfect for you, sinner.” -AmyG

AmyG: "How are you, Doogie? Haven’t seen you here for a while."
YellowShorts: “Doogie: Erm, cause I been banned, AmyG. ‘AmyG’…so gangster…that name.”

“Doogie: ‘WHERE IS CLEVELAND???’ Erm, in Ohio??? I’m sure you can search up on mapquest. Like I told my sister once ‘Mapquest that bitch up, motherfooker!!’” -VaingloriousAfternoon

“Doogie: Labeef, STOP HAYE-INN. I thought Dutch women was more tolerant of ‘arseholes’.” -JonnyLeeFiller

“Oh no, I’m not Doogie. Please don’t ban me.” -DangerBird

“He’ll toss his milkshake at punk kids egging his car while yelling about their amateurism.” -J.J. LaBeef (about tim crimson)

“And no, today is not ‘give a homeless bum a balloon day’ it’s the start of Random Acts of Kindness Week!” -J.J. LaBeef

“You have kittens? Real ones? Damn.” -J.J. LaBeef

“The last show I was at some blonde girl was there with her dad and she kept staring at me through the whole show. I think she was mad cuz I had better seats. But she did hook me up with a recording of said show, so I was much less freaked out…” -mojoryzin

“Just because you’re using the name again doesn’t give you the license to be an asshat.” -mojoryzin (to Alt-country)

“That’s not just Ann Arbor, Kat… You could drive 100 yards down a road and not find your way back without calling your Dad. Oh no he di’int!!!” -mojoryzin

“This robin egg blue makes me want to scrape my eyes out with my keys.” -crazymofo

“I am also drunk. and my username is drunk! sweet.” -DrunkPianos

“Gosh, no one’s prone to creativity but keef. keef’s the only one with asterisks on his keyboard.” -DrunkPianos

“bonochick is my dark bride who spits fury from her razor lips” -deus ex machina

“He is not talking about GF there. He’s talking about some innocent who DARED praise Ryan’s poem. Lashing out at those who like him, and at those who dislike. Like a cornered blond rat.” -happyhead

“Here is something I have always wondered: How does someone like Jesse Malin have any money to afford the type of hat collection he so obviously treasures?” -happyhead

“Runaway D. That is another person I wonder about. how does that fool have money? Recording fake albums for fake record labels can’t pay much.” -happyhead

“It seems pretty legit. I got some messages from some people I’ve been stalking asking me who I was.” -happyhead (on MySpace trackers)

“I just paged Chris Hanson. You can be expecting a little drop-in from MSNBC later on tonight.” -happyhead

“this is way better than my ‘Eat Chocolate Chip Cookies and Drive Around Listening to Enya’ diet” -kevbryant

“Wating for the apocalypse? Well, you’re in luck…” -nicculus

“ok - so I got her to take advantage of our buy 3 get the 4 for free sale (which I made up)” -nicculus

“did u know an average car cupholder fits a tube of cookie dough perfectly? coincidence? me thinks not” -OSAMA BIN HUMMUS

“I need shoes. I need them badly. And by need I mean my other 7,899 pairs are getting lonely.” -TakeMeHome

“I am a scientist, but I don’t get what you mean.” -Emily

“According to Bonochick’s profile, I haven’t been funny since the early part of 2007. That’s probably true.” -winter_trees

winter_trees: "gharland - you loser, do you not know who this is?!"
gharland: “I had to Google!! It’s Conor fucking Oberst!!! Please indie hipsters - Forgive me for not knowing this. I am not worthy.”

“My mum does not do my hair! Look at it! as if.” -winter_trees

“What? Cigarettes aren’t cool anymore? They’re practically illegal here now. They must be cool.” -winter_trees

“There’s videogaming and there’s videogaming - some people play these things for days on end - suddenly you find you have bad hair, Stephen King glasses, a paunch, jogging bottoms and are from Texas.” -winter_trees

“They have computers in Ireland? Are they like those clocks you power from a potato?” -winter_trees

“When did it become acceptable to be a nerd? - People, I’m sure used to hide comics behind newspapers or read them in their room secretly. what happened?” -winter_trees

“Basically everyone in this thread is wrong apart from me. That happens a lot.” -winter_trees

“wow. i got two non-personalized cards from ‘management’, a $5 gift certificate to the cafeteria, and a $100 general retail gift certificate that I can’t open because it’s an Internet link and the configuration of our stupid Internet set-up won’t allow me to view the link. Merry Fucking Christmas EDS.” -jrodisbefuddled

jrodisbefuddled: "So Jrod’s going to India for work next month. Anyone ever been?"
Roy100: “Yes, several million Indians.”

“Ryan, you clearly read the board as a lurker, please learn how to spell, thank you.” -Roy100

“just thought someone might know the answer mr. rude. (i think i discovered why you can’t get a gfriend btw…)” -MJ (to heile)

“Working with dumb people is free entertainment. Priceless.” -Alt-country

“Why does everyone else get supportive pep-talks and I get ‘tough love’?” -Alt-country

“assistant high school principal throws a kegger for students. I am more upset at the $5 a cup, what a fucking rip off” -oaklander

“I’m so bored with my job that I was reading the metro the other morning on the tube and actually believed for about 5 minutes that I could become a professional dominatrix” -wonderwoman

“jajajajaja…that was so funny I started laughing in spanish.” -decorationday

“Congrats to you Bear. I appreciate your dedication to touring and rocking the house, even though I have no idea who you are or if you were even any good.” -decorationday

“this just in… you are all wrong.” -Cannonball

“who needs a soundcheck when you’re perfect?” -Cannonball

“i was going to put you on notice… and then i was like, ‘shit, she already IS on notice.’” -Cannonball

“hey ispy… you got a longer shelf-life than that twinkie bruce willis ate in Die Hard.” -Cannonball

“Nothing puts a dent in a relationship like the unfinished home repair…” -Goldie

“Bonochick’s Dad and Ryan have had a difficult relationship.” -Goldie

“Just curious, Has Cannonball ever bought a gift without our assistance?” -Goldie

“I think my new sig should be ‘If it could happen, it happened to Kat’.” -Goldie

“If I could meet a good man with a washer and dryer, I’d marry him immediately” -maddiehope

“men stink but we sure do love the smell.” -onelousypetunia

“will he jump out of the internet and punch her face?” -onelousypetunia

“i personally find your irrational arrogance appealing, as you’re aware.” -ElevatorLady (to GF)

“have i already said that message board contributions are the unfamous man’s self indulgent blog? so true” -ElevatorLady

“sorry bono, you’re blonde, cute, clean, seemingly well adjusted ergo i am not interested ; )” -ElevatorLady

“just now watching napoleon dynamite and now i get about half the jokes told on the internet for the last two years” -ElevatorLady

“hey depressed dude - get some fish for stress relief.” -ElevatorLady

“if you have john mayer in your signature i won’t listen to what you say. just being honest.” -ElevatorLady

Shelfie: "I probably shouldnt say it because people will just hate on me, but mine is John Mayer. I didnt think it would ever be possibly but he over took Ryan in April."
Music, etc.: “John Mayer didn’t think it would ever be possible either.”

“I think diamonds are kind of ugly. I should go screaming that outside, then I would get a boyfriend for sure.” -Lady Fairbanks

“What did he say? I would’ve kicked him.” -Lady Fairbanks

“you’re so mean to me, why do I tolerate it so? Oh yeah, because you’re a skanky piece of ass and I love it.” -Lady Fairbanks

“Haha. No my Mum’s talking about buying it, if no one else does. Hopefully I can screw her for all she’s worth.” -Nomio

“I’m hardly a scholar, I teach high school” -Nomio

“Jesus Kat, if Ralphie had a sister it’d be you.” -mofo

“And I sincerely hope people eventually come to understand that this site is Dave’s personal property. Like his front yard. And we are his guests. Standing in his front yard. Just standing there. Ruining his grass.” -mofo

“You’ve made a mockery of my thread about creating a myspace for a dog! Shame on you all!” -WavesCrashing

“Yep, its got the whole checklist: mean (check), harsh (check), funny (check). I didn’t even know I was that talented.” -WavesCrashing

“My Royals are number two, as if I even needed a list to tell me they’ve sucked since they won it all in '85.” -WavesCrashing

“Brandon changed his mind when he realized he’d farted around too long and wouldn’t get a decent ticket for the Uptown show. Remember, St. Louis has general admission tickets where you can stand by the stage. Brandon is a very weird person.” -WavesCrashing

“If only there was a way I could play Dr. Mario and cure my CPU’s viruses. That would rock.” -WavesCrashing

WavesCrashing: "Is it wrong that I watch Hannah Montana, not to mention that I enjoy it very much on occasion?"
drewdrop: “And you guys gave me shit for saying Supernanny Jo was hot.”

“i used to think she was an imaginary girlfriend until i actually met her.” -hb (about keef’s girlfriend)

“for some strange reason everyone thinks that sean is the cool one to hang out with in new york” -keef riffhard

“you dont pass sean carey on the street you narrowly escape him on the street…” -keef riffhard

“bonochick i think your dad left his moustache and extra sharp cheddar in my tree house…” -keef riffhard

“i share a birthday with eric crapton, van gogh and ernie… wow… what an honor…” -keef riffhard

“oh and thanks to tim crimson also who can now go fuck himself…” -keef riffhard

keef riffhard: "its not so much an entertaining parody but a way to show how stupid pop music, hollywood and the music industry sucks."
NobodyGirlApproximately: “keef, shut up.”

“frankly, this ernie sounds made up” -ocie

sean: "can you post a picture of you and her?"
oxfordstandard: “it’ll be on the christmas card that you’re getting FROM YOUR MOM.”

“I emailed him that day to tell him he sucked.” -oxfordstandard

“The ‘i like you, but don’t love you’ doesn’t work well on your estranged kids… They just get all huffy about it.” -oxfordstandard

oxfordstandard: "if you don’t socially climb how can you get to the top of society?"
Carrots: “sleep your way there. duh.”

sinner: "i wish i was cool enough to abbreviate mezzanine."
Carrots: “i actually just didn’t know how to spell it.”

“stalking ryan from website to website isn’t going to make him love you…” -Carrots

“i’m right brained and i’m productive. don’t blame it on your brain. blame it on the fact that you’re being lazy.” -Carrots

“Bob Sanders doesn’t do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.” -whiskeytownie

“I am so glad that I have no sexy to bring to the table. You guys are brutal.” -skifurthur

“the other problem/non problem is that this woman is about 35, i am 23, and my father was her ex-husband’s lawyer several years ago on pretty servere pot charges. small world.” -TGI Jef

“i actually work for an insurance company. she is kind of my secretary. secretary first, target of ridicule second, friend third.” -TGI Jef

“i always pitied those who stayed home on weekend nights to play video games. tonight, i am one of those people.” -TGI Jef

AnyFamousLastWords: "Drugs/alcohol are nothing more than a one way ticket to loserville."
jasoncubarhodes: “That’s across the river from awesometown, right?”

“Hey Kat: shut up!” -jasoncubarhodes

“If you quit smoking, you simply must start a blues band to even things out.” -jasoncubarhodes

“When ever I meet him, I will make him sign my copy of his first band’s LP. It will seem really nice, the interest I had in his long-forgotten bluegrass; or it will seem very creepy and I will never be able to attend another Cardinals show ever.” -jasoncubarhodes (on Jon Graboff)

“Our break room doesn’t have air conditioning, so the other day I put the big box fan that’s in there on the top of the refrigerator door with the freezer door open. It wouldn’t stay, so I took some three or four clothes hangers and McGuyvered it.” -jasoncubarhodes

“I’ve watched enough Drew Carey to be conditioned to think Cleveland rocks, even if my better judgment is against it.” -jasoncubarhodes

“I must admit I had no childhood trauma that prepared me for you.” -jasoncubarhodes

“Baby Jesus cries when you’re sarcastic in reference to the potential for Ryan Adams releases, Bonochick.” -jasoncubarhodes

“The White Stripes are a lot less creepy to me if they’re not actually siblings. But they make less sense, 'cause it would be hard for me to fire my sister even if she sucked that bad. Otherwise, that bitch would’ve been out.” -jasoncubarhodes

“Bonochick in a cage! That made my day.” -jasoncubarhodes

“Goldie knows how to live. Why aren’t you more like Goldie, Kat?” -jasoncubarhodes

SAD EYES 2: "whats the difference between ‘being in love with someone’ or ‘loving someone’?"
oxfordstandard: “i love taco bell, but i’m not IN LOVE with taco bell.”

“Thank you soooo much for posting these. My heart is like cheese melting on a patty right now!” -yesyes

“i called the hammerstein and they said no one would be admitted without a costume. i plan on going as an obnoxious hipster - i will talk loudly over the slow tunes, push to the front when the show starts, and stand right in front of you and block your view.” -oh well okay

“i think what bono is doing for the world is very commendable - but his music hurts my ears” -oh well okay

“Go back to middle school and make fun of people’s height.” -LetItRideEC

“wheres sweet and low? Has she got a ticket? oh god, shes gonna be sweet and sour.” -ovenboy

“I hate Bono’s fingers. They make me feel sick.” -sweetnlow

Cannonball: "they shouldn’t allow women to drive in the country and i firmly believe that."
mkat21: “Asshole. If I ever see you driving i’m gonna ‘accidently’ run into you for saying that.”

“awww i love rainbows! i almost crashed into a telephone pole once while driving cause i was trying to look at a rainbow.” -mkat21

“that happened to me once except i was dressed up as axel rose for halloween and my 200 lb guy friend jumped on me and i fell in the pavment and ripped my acid wash jeans but it was okay cause it made me look tougher with the ripped jeans.” -mkat21

“my dad is hilarious, i love making fun of people with my dad, thats our hobby.” -mkat21

“somebody gave me 10 dollars to do it during lunch in highschool. and well i can never turn down 10 bucks.” -mkat21 (about why she snorted tomato soup through her nose)

“Who is surprised? This is his M.O. He LOVES the internet, reveals tons, gets freaked and/or offended, takes it all down, rinse, wash, repeat, repeat on the .org, YouTube, RAA…” -Em (on Ryan)

“glad to know they were missed. i was starting to feel like the andrea zuckerman of the .org for a while there.” -somebeach

“Working at McDonald’s has really made you a snob.” -Ely Plains

“Cruises: Where your alcoholism is completely acceptable, normal even.” -Ely Plains

“If Rinda receives five e-proposals within five minutes, it counts as one real life awkward proposal at Olive Garden.” -Ely Plains

“It sounds like none of us were the Prom King or Queen, and none of us wanted to be.” -Ely Plains

“My Martin solid top acoustic guitar is worth more than my 97 Ford Taurus. But I can’t rock my way to work.” -Ely Plains

“I love white-collar job injuries. I mean, I’m white collar and occasionally this happens, but I always feel funny telling someone when I hurt myself in an office environment.” -Ely Plains

“I love planning/zoning! I watch the public acess channel all the time just to watch the zoning appeals procedings. Its so interesting to me for some reason. I love it when they deny people. Some times I think the’re racist.” -Houston County

“Sweet tea is like water down here. People look at you kind of funny if you order a coke instead of tea. Like you’re gay or something.” -Houston County

“Trashy people always like orange soda. Thats really sweeping, but its just my experience.” -Houston County

“If I did not watch the news I never would have known that Clay Aiken got shoved by a girl on an airplane. How do people live not knowing stuff like that?” -Ankaa

“I LOVE the winter. Because it means that there is going to be ice everywhere. Well I saw someone take a spill at the 7-11 this morning and proceeded to laugh my ass off in the car, making sure he didn’t see me. Is that mean? Am I twisted?” -Losering Mi

“I’ll do anything to keep from having to find real employment.” -GoldFalcon

“You can have my truck when you pry it from my blistered, sunburned hands. It’s got the biggest production V8 engine ever made, a 35 gallon tank, and penguins and polar bears quake with fear every time I start it up. The knowledge that I am single-handedly raising the temperature of Richland, Washington by half a degree is worth $100 fill-ups.” -GoldFalcon

“For the record I’ve never eaten a Buick.” -GoldFalcon

“No, but I do bring along two kids, lung disease, bipolar disorder, drunkeness, and a n ex-wife with whom I share a house.
I know, it’s a dream come true, right?” -GoldFalcon

“I thought you were supposed to be old. Riding a bike to the library, getting flustered by pretty girls? This sounds like a 13 year old.” -Jeff (about gharland)

“It’s going to be 115 degrees today. I’m definately not indie enough to wear a scarf in 115.” -Jeff

“I want to be in a band so I can sit around bored while the singer gets interviewed.” -Jeff

“In 6th grade, my teacher would let a kid choose a word for the next week’s spelling test. One kid chose supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. He was a dick.” -Jeff

s.a.l: "what’s a newbie? my name is sal. but that name was already taken."
carousel: "newbie is a new person to the board."
s.a.l.: "what’s a board?"
NobodyGirlApproximately: “omgz!”

“My friend went out with a guy called Yoshi. He looked like a Japanese hamster or something - the kind of cute that you’d want to ruffle his hair and go ‘aaaaaaw!’ but NOT the kind of cute anyone should ever want to date. Ever. shudder” -cyan_scarab

“i have no car, no place to walk without fear of getting hit by a car, no friends who would drive this far out to come get me.” -ant

“my dog ran away from home last year and i was so worried and when i found her at this old lady’s house she wasn’t happy to see me cause the old lady had been feeding her macaroni and cheese. slut.” -PrincessFrogbelly

“my hair tries to run off while i’m sleeping.” -cheerupchinup

“i found you on myspace. aren’t i sneaky? i also know yer address and social security number.” -chelsea bell

“bonochick is the new… everything.” -chelsea bell

“You are the wind beneath my apple bottom jeans” -pagethesage1275

“Two dudes think I look bad and 4 ladies think otherwise…I can live with that…” -pagethesage1275

“I think Michigan is the worst…when I think of frigid, depressed hell that’s where I think of…I’m sure the people are nice though if Bonochick is any indication!” -pagethesage1275

“Run directly at the tornado, flailing your arms…a little known fact is that tornadoes are more scared of people than people are of tornadoes, so chances are if you do that, it’ll be intimidated and flee in the opposite direction.” -pagethesage1275

“Jesse also had to sing kinda quietly cause he didn’t want his neighbors thinking he was batshit insane, like Ryan’s neighbors probably do…” -pagethesage1275

“Woohoo! I told her there is no shame in being a secretary. Kat, when I’m president I’ll make you my Secretary of Hamland Security.” -pagethesage1275

“That chick’s hair looks like she headbutted a weedwhacker…” -pagethesage1275

“I made fun of Ryan without knowing it was him when I saw him walking up the street in Knoxville” -pagethesage1275

“Well it’s a mini, so there’s not much music I can fit on it. Maybe if the dot org bought me one I’d use it!!!” -pagethesage1275

“If your mom eBayed your dad’s mustache, I’d buy it.” -pagethesage1275

“I like GFs theory though, mostly because it involves more money for me…” -pagethesage1275

“Is your husband going to be there? Can you tell him I’m foreign and that it’s my custom for me to plant one on you?” -pagethesage1275

“OK, cool. Yeah I’ll strategically hide my belt by holding my portfolio squarely in front of my crotch the whole time, as if I’m trying to hide a pee stain.” -pagethesage1275

“My last girlfriend was 5 feet tall…but she was lame.” -pagethesage1275

“If nothing else I can wear overalls and call her mommy so I can eat off the kids menu at Ruby Tuesdays.” -pagethesage1275 (on dating a girl taller than him)

“Liz Phair should be exiled to suck-ville for her recent music.” -pagethesage1275

“Anyhoo, I hate how stuff costs money.” -pagethesage1275

pagethesage1275: "If anybody needs me I’ll be on myspace."
Cannonball: “I’ll take The Gayest Things I’ve Ever Heard A Dude say for $1000 please Alex.”

“hey page - you blow.” -Cannonball

“nuthin says big brains like posting your full phone number on an internet message board full of borderline-psychotic freaks. well played.” -Cannonball

“Bono, when you talk like AC it makes me want to jump your bones.” -Cannonball

“Dave decided that his job and making a living is more important than wasting time on this message board. who does he think he is???” -Cannonball

“take down that picture of my butt. immediately.” -Cannonball

“she won’t give me the time of day. alls i want is a little sex.” -Cannonball

“bonochick, just wait until i post the best car accident of the year award.” -Cannonball

“sometimes i put on conor oberst and curl up in the corner and just cry. just cry…” -Cannonball

“that sucks. thats what you get for trusting peruvian chair manufacturers.” -Cannonball

“the IT guy here hates me. he yells at me for going on the internet. he’s probably reading this. whatever.” -Carrots

“modern man is a pussy. pretty emo boys, glittery metrosexuals, cripes, isn’t anybody proud to be a MAN
anymore? fucking hell, put down the fingernail polish and pick up a power tool for the love of god!” -Carrots

“speaking of stuffed animals…i just went to buy a teddy bear and picked one up off the shelf. then i picked another one up off the shelf and immediately went ‘oh shit, now i have to choose.’ i felt super guilty about putting one back, like i’d hurt its feelings or something if i didn’t choose it. i think i’m a little too involved with stuffed animals…” -Carrots


way way more…on a word doc it’s 63 pages of alt-country quotes.


in the 63 pages i found quotes from dougo, myself and shadow monkey :slight_smile:


oddly @Ely_Plains had some quotes on his page too:

smarten up NOW or I get pro-Active! on your cyber ass! do you understand?!


just imagine a ferret out in the wild- deep in the jungles of Guyana. It comes upon a parrot nest at the canopy of a great banyan tree and doesnt admire the eggs, it overcomes them, shell and all. Eat eggs like an overripe cherry tomato for mind-blowing delts. Who else has some lifting tips LIFTERS! -WhiteBuffalo

when I was in a cult, my ‘Sannyasin’ name (Sanskrit) meant literally “one who is in prayer” but I was told that the actual meaning and significance was supposed to be “live each day as if it’s the last” which was supposed to prompt you to value it more and live more fully, I guess. I didn’t like the idea at the time. -Stumbling

I want to like comedies. I don’t want to be a snob about about them. Laughing is the best. Whenever the idiot host at the comedy club asks who’s ready to laugh, I say out loud I am. Because I am. -Jeff

@ Deus Ex Machina
haha, your posts are ridiculous. you sound like a thirteen year old who just started going to the mall by himself, where he recently picked up his first collection of existentialist writings in the bargain section of the book store. grow up, man, and stop being so naive. life isn’t weird, it’s life and it’s what YOU make of it. there is NO SUCH THING AS LIFE but the one that you choose to live. stop acting like it’s only going on around you. you’re missing a lot.

and for the love of god or whatever you choose to worship, take grbounds’ advice and get the fuck outside. - Mr. Sincere

Just don’t call me a Limey… Without lemons you’d never have made it there to the ‘New World’ to sell whiskey and guns to the natives before you and the Spanish, Portuguese and French slaughtered them in their millions… -Answering Boy


memory fucking lane today



Asparagus fillating what now???


dog with glasses!!!




I remember I had decided that you and I were in a competition for post count. I think I wasted more time there than anyone.



although i don’t think anyone was going to touch tim crimson or ispy


No. I do know I had the highest post count. Nick or you verified that.


probably nick.

i think we had to combine your multiple users??? Shadow Monkey, shadow the grey, monkey, candaces black cock, sherry dumpling monkey, cat fucker

all those considered :wink:



tim crimson 44,000 on one account
shadow monkey 8,800
balvenie 13,300

not sure how many on RAA, tby, or the other ryan thingy

too fucking many though!!!


I remember the .Org Back in the Goodle Days.


Sorry to hear Nick. Hoping for a good recovery and outcome.


Sorry bout the news nick , hope for a positive out come .


Pathology report was inconclusive. The biopsies are being sent to Mayo clinic. We we’re simply told that whatever it is is rare. It’s being labeled as sarcoma, but that’s just preliminary. Thankfully


Sorry this is happening, it’s very stressful to have to go through all that. I send good vibes your way and your wife will kick its ass!