I Could Tell Ya, but I'd have to Bore Ya - Inane Anecdotes


loved every second of this read. and i love places like this.


i’ll share here cause i felt a spark to write last saturday, before i was called to minnesota… definitely bore ya inane anecdotes:
The things I appreciate about life:

When you’re swimming in the river with your family or friends, and a kid grins and yells, “I found a warm spot!”

When someone uses the word scrumptious.

The vast amount of love in my dog’s eyes when she looks at me as we lay in bed gazing at her sheer cuteness.

Remembering and wanting to go back in time and help my two kids put on their snow pants, their snow boots, and little mittens, and as I kneel down, their hot little Cheeto breath lands smack on my nose and makes me grin.

Sharing a milkshake with your wife when she said she didn’t want one, but you tell her it has the little ice chunks in it, and she grins and takes a slurp, and her eyes light up.

When two of your friends, who you think should be married, finally announce they’re getting married. FINALLY!

When two of your friends, who you think would make great parents, finally announce they’re having a baby.

When our cat, Mia, comes out of nowhere and plops on my lap, making me feel like I’m the only human in the universe.

Pizza. Pepperoni with extra cheese.

Music; Especially when a song comes on that I’m hearing for the first time, and I have to play it till my ears bleed, which usually takes about two months. Sometimes I’ll play that amazing song 100 times in my truck cause I love the feeling it gives me so much.

Revisiting old poems that I fell in love with when I was 20. Like this one right here, right now: When I hear the stock market has fallen,
I say, “Long live gravity! Long live
stupidity, error, and greed in the palaces
of fantasy capitalism!” I think
an economy should be based on thrift,
on taking care of things, not on theft,
usury, seduction, waste, and ruin. -Wendell Berry

Revisiting old passages of old books I fell in love with when I was 15, or 16, or 18, or 25. Like this one right here, right now: “When people are kids their parents teach them all sorts of stuff, some of it true and useful, some of it absurd hogwash (example of former: don’t crap your pants; example of latter: Columbus discovered America). This is why puberty happens. The purpose of puberty is to shoot an innocent and gullible child full of nasty glandular secretions that manifest in the mind as confusion, in the innards as horniness, upon the skin as pimples, and on the tongue as cocksure venomous disbelief in every piece of information, true or false, gleaned from one’s parents since infancy. The net result is a few years of familial hell culminating in the child’s exodus from the parental nest, sooner or later followed by a peace treaty and the emergence of the postpubescent as an autonomous, free-thinking human being who knows that Columbus only trespassed on an island inhabited by our lost and distant Indian relatives, but who also knows not to crap his pants.”
― David James Duncan, The River Why

Sitting by the side of a river and enjoying a sandwich.

Swimming in rivers on the hottest of Montana days.

Live music (most of it). I love the energy of the audience, and when we all know a song, we get real quiet so we can think about what that song means to us and how big the universe is, and how at one moment in time, one of our musical heroes is singing something we find really meaningful.

The Missoula Club cheeseburger after the Riverbank Run.

My mom and dad. They gave me and my little brother life and shared every drop of time and money, and energy just for us and just so we could pursue our loves and interests and somehow make it to a keyboard at 43 and make a list of things about life I appreciate.

How love transcends time and space and infinity and quantum physics. Love is everything.

Baseball. I’ll never not love the beautiful sport of baseball, and I’ll always appreciate the nuances of chess-like invisible moves happening right under our noses as coaches and players alike signal shifts, bunts, hit and runs, curveballs, and sliders, and high and inside. And the most perfect thing in all of the sports: The stand-up triple.

My wife, who gave us two of the most beautiful little humans I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot! And how in turn, those two little humans make me better and make me wanna be better.

Coors light on a really hot day.

Coors light on a really cold day.

Coffee in the morning sun on a deck overlooking the mountains of Montana.

Coffee in the morning sun at a high alpine lake, and how you’re the only one awake, and the dogs are contentt to lay by your feet and keep your toes warm.

All of my friends.

My brother and sister-in-law.

My nephews and niece and how each year or month I get to share in their pursuit and how proud it makes me feel and how I feel like Jeff is looking down on us each time and relishing in his delight and love.

My whole entire family–each member special to me in their own cool way with their own cool talents or perspectives.

Driving dirt roads, each one leading me to distant memories and helping me make new ones.


Weddings (most of them) and how fun they are and how we get to see family again.

The banjo.

The songs of Bruce Springsteen.

The songs of Gregory Alan Isakov.

My bed. Is there anything better than one’s own bed and, after being away from it for a good long while and finally arriving home late at night from the airport, you FINALLY get to hop in and get all comfortable in the best possible way?

Going to new restaurants with my wife and kids, and when the food is good, we all get sparkles in our eyes, and smiles and grins take over our faces, and the whole ride home, we have to relive the entire meal like it was a movie.

Really good movies. You know, like the ones that leave you gobsmacked, or teary-eyed, or excited, and/or remind you about your little brother who you miss dearly and just wanna squeeze.

Making playlists–short or long and then getting a road trip to use them on!

When your kid in college calls you out of the blue.

When your kid in high school calls you ANY time.

When your nephews or niece call or text or snap-chat you . . .


I’m not crying, you’re crying. 🧅


That’s beautiful stuff. Thank you.


Awwwww. All spot on except the Coors light part. Love you to bits balv.


thanks guys and gals. the feelings is mutuals.


Awwwww. All spot on except the banjo part. Love you to bits balv.


Love you dearly, and so many of the things you pointed out here as well.

I even love the banjo!


hey! what’s wrong w/ the banjo!!! one of my fondest memories is hearing my father in law claw the banjo …it’s fucking magical!


I inherited my grandfather’s banjo, then my uncle gave me his. Both 4-string tenor banjos. They are fun to pluck away on… hope you have one to pick at.




tight lines; dong rimjobber?


Just used it as a bad excuse to make a cheap joke (like bluegrass)! :grinning:

Here is another one:


I’ve got a few of those but for harmonica.


Banjo and harmonica players are among the most hated I believe.

I play both…

Says a lot about my personality.


I used to own a really nice accordion… and I love the sound of a good accordion, but I couldn’t bring myself to try to learn that one.


i’m more of a bagpipes kind of guy


Those drive my husband mental.


One of the best scenes in Blaze is when Townes (played by Charlie Sexton) says something like “at every show there’s always a guy who reaches in his pocket and just once I wish it was a gun but it’s always a harmonica”


I love that movie. And Charlie Fucking Sexton.