I fell and broke my desire to have any emotional connections with anyone

#42

Glad there are adequate mental health services at her Uni and they are using them.

#43

for sure. theyā€™re real hard and when youā€™re young the whole world can revolve around one personā€¦if that person is gone it can seem like your world is gone. even though as a parent looking from the outside we know thatā€™s not trueā€¦it doesnā€™t make it so for her.

sheā€™s stabilized for now w/ meds and dbt and cbt therapy

thanks all. yesterday i finally felt like i was through some of the fog and could share/open up. and actually participate in my work and day to day lifeā€¦also worrisome, is the effects this has on our youngest daughter. i could see by her body language this was tough on her. she loves her big sister but she has told hannah before that why would she try to get close to her or love her fully if she was just going to kill herself. that shit hurt. that shit is not right and no way to live. my little sweetie building up walls at a young age.

#44

us too.

#45

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Iā€™m starting to feel a bit different/better. After two days of mastitis and totaling our van on Sunday, I did some laundry today, sewed a pair of pleated doll jeans with pockets, moved my credenza down to the basement, set up my turntable, and then hung two rolls of wallpaper in my daughterā€™s bedroom.

#46

oh wow, that sounds pretty heartbreaking about your youngest daughter :cry: I canā€™t imagine what thatā€™s like. I hope they can somehow find strength through each other.

#47

glad youā€™re on the mend! I like this setup :slight_smile:

#48

great song! :slight_smile:

#49

It is! You know, I donā€™t mind disclosing because thereā€™s no way anyone can figure it out with all the weird other stuff going on with it, but itā€™s our Wi-Fi password. You have to sing a particular line from this song to be able to type it. So Iā€™ll probably never really be able to get over this particular RA song. This in addition to all the other personal resonance, ahahaha.

#50

Cannot imagine your pain and worry, Rob. Take care of your daughter, yourself and the rest of the family. Hope everything pans out. Took your advice and gave both my daughters an extra hug yesterday night.

#51

:heart:ļø hugs Balv

#52

thanks.

long story short i flew out early Sunday to Minnesota and grabbed hannah
got back late last night

our poor girl just isnā€™t doing well

#53

Iā€™m so sorry Rod. I think about your daughter sometimes though I donā€™t know her I send some healing thoughts to her. Youā€™re clearly caring parents. Donā€™t know what Iā€™d do in the case but itā€™s a fear. My girls mental well being is tied directly to mine. Love and strength to your family.

#54

Jesus, Rob, Iā€™m so sorry. Iā€™m just catching up with all of this. I hope Hannah starts feeling better.

#55

Hey there,

Glad you are feeling better!

Is getting all that done in a day typical for you? I donā€™t generally like playing armchair psychologist but as someone with Bipolar 2 disorder who was misdiagnosed as being depressed for a few years I, of course, see this in everybody.

Just curious because anti-depression meds made things worse for me, kicking them was awful, and once I did I went into a semi manic state.

#56

Iā€™m so sorry you guys are all going through this.

Itā€™s so god damned hard being a young person.

#57

Thank you for your concern. My official diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which shares a lot of characteristics with depression and ADHD.

Big bursts of activity for me are more about opportunity. I tend to be pretty busy and like to do a lot by default but with the boys being so young, I rarely get to do much more than childcare. So when I get on a roll I tend to drive it into the ground. :slight_smile: I just got excited because the apathy had lifted, suddenly doing some things sounded like a nice change instead of a pointless exercise.

#58

manā€¦oh man.
she has not cut herself in over a year and this one was on her arm and it was pretty badā€¦still superficial like most who cut ā€¦but violent and angryā€¦like she took a shave razor and pressed it into her arm and tried to shave her skinā€¦entire left arm just grated like cheese. i just donā€™t even know what to do except cryā€¦so Iā€™m trying to be strong and pump myself up for these coming days, months, years, etc. just donā€™t want to lose her.

sheā€™s in the right head space today and in fact she is super jovial and excited ā€¦this last month has just been a major step backwards and i guess going into college we all knew this was more than a real possibility. in fact, we all sat down and said as much and said we are only a 2 hour flight away so if you need us, we are there.

#59

Jeez Balv, it sounds like a very difficult time, especially for her. But it also sounds like you are a loving family that is very involved and doing all you can to support her.

#60

Iā€™m also very sorry to hear this @thebalvenie. I agree that being a young person now, with the internet and the social dislocation, and well, everything else, is overwhelming.

Thinking of young people having formative experiences now with a phone is terrifying to me.

#61

God damn it. Depression is a monster inside the people who have it and shows up when it wants to. Never ever want to see your child hurt. I feel so heavy for you. Wish I could help. Iā€™m glad sheā€™s up today. You could all use a break Iā€™m sure.