Joke of the day!


#202

That could be it!


#203

jeez guys. they’re only jokes!!!

JOKES!!!


#204

Uh…jokes are funny…ummmkay?


#205

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old…

“You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!” he continued.

“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “80 is the worst age of all!”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.

“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble crapping?” asked the 70-year-old.

“No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7:00”


#206

WHAT DO JAPANESE PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY HAVE AN ERECTION???
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THEY VOTE :slight_smile:

road_destiney


#207

imageCould probably use this for the sign.


#208

Go meta:

Here’s your sign!


#209

Just the one word…

Language.


#210

someone sent this my way…

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, the man can barely sit down before his wife starts talking excitedly.

“The neighbors went to the show today and said the tightrope walkers were doing the Hokey Pokey right up there on the wire! Can you even imagine?”

“I’d love to take you,” said the man. “But the boss’ll be mad if I don’t get this project finished.”

The following night the wife gushed about how the paperboy told her about how a dozen clowns had popped out of this tiny car and did the can-can in bloomers and it was about the funniest thing he ever saw. The man was starting to feel a little bad that he couldn’t take her, but work was work.

The night after, the wife was downcast.

“My book club said last night the lion tamer and the girl who rides the elephants did a waltz and it was just perfectly romantic,” she said. “It feels like we’re the only people in town who haven’t seen the show yet and they only have one more tomorrow! Oh please can’t we go?”

The man thinks it over and decides that this might be the only opportunity for them to see such a thing, and maybe work can wait. He calls his friend to ask him to cover for him at work the next day, and the man and his wife go to bed excited about seeing the show.

The next day at work the boss notices the man is out and inquires about it with the friend.

“Oh,” says the friend. “He can’t come in today due to four unseen circus dances.”


#211

Dad jokes are supposed to be much shorter.


#212

And from after the 1940s.


#213

I had never heard it. I quite like it.


#214

Well, Nick has been spending time in hospitals, presumably with older folks. I like the old style jokes, performed perfectly by Norm.


#215

So do I, Ely!

Conan uploaded like 350 of his remotes a few weeks ago. There are so many gems in there!


#216

I’m using a couple of these for my next signs on friday.


#217

Why do people in Alabama not do the reverse cowgirl?

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Because you never turn your back on family


#218

Should read “Why do women…?”

I don’t think women are considered people in Alabama.