Joke of the day!


#222

Rather than Mars Attacks?


#223

Rather than Turner and Hooch?


#224

I was hoping to get this impending sensation across upon arrival.


#225

We will NEVER colonize another planet successfully.


#226

Couldn’t you just have people watch “Take me out to the ball gay” to get the same effect?


#227


#228

I once dated a girl who had a twin.
People kept asking me how I could tell them apart. Easy.

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Jill paints her nails purple. John has a dick.


#229

Ha!


#230

What do you call someone who demands respect but shows none to anyone else?
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Mr. President!


#231

I can only read this in Joy Behar’s voice.


#232

What is the only animal that has the asshole on its back.

The police horse.


#233

What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
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A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.


#234

What’s the difference between a policeman’s truncheon and a magician’s wand?

One’s for cunning stunts and the other is for stunning…


#235

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it’s worth it.


#236

#237

#238

Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach trump?

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Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term!!!