Joke of the day!

#222

Rather than Mars Attacks?

#223

Rather than Turner and Hooch?

#224

I was hoping to get this impending sensation across upon arrival.

#225

We will NEVER colonize another planet successfully.

#226

Couldn’t you just have people watch “Take me out to the ball gay” to get the same effect?

#227

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#228

I once dated a girl who had a twin.
People kept asking me how I could tell them apart. Easy.

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Jill paints her nails purple. John has a dick.

#229

Ha!

#230

What do you call someone who demands respect but shows none to anyone else?
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Mr. President!

#231

I can only read this in Joy Behar’s voice.

#232

What is the only animal that has the asshole on its back.

The police horse.

#233

What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
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A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

#234

What’s the difference between a policeman’s truncheon and a magician’s wand?

One’s for cunning stunts and the other is for stunning…

#235

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it’s worth it.

#236
#237
#238

Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach trump?

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Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term!!!